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Submitted on
November 5, 2013


1,305 (1 today)
77 (who?)
-en if this paper in your hand was once
an Aspen, thick with sunny leaves; around
the base of wet and living wood, a ground
that reeks of life and death at once, then conc-

-entrate, and know at least in brief the grand
machine you sleep in, twitching fingers, won-
-dering just how one feels a texture, sun
lights warmth, bare prickled skin, bare feet in sand.

Oh this body. How I will tend to it
seventy-five or eighty. How I will
bend arthritic knees, by five windows, still,
the summers passing. Faithful friend! Now, bit

by bit, you close each window to its clasp.
This paper in your hand was once an Asp-…

Although I don't know if paper generally gets made from aspen or not. Probably not.

Hope it's not too distracting, all the word splits. Coul-
-dn't help it.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-01-10
Bowlesian Sonnet by Bobibillius ( Suggested by LaBruyere and Featured by Beccalicious )
supergeek17 Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ohh, this poem. I love the cyclic structure, it's so wonderfully done. :heart: Definitely worth the DD-- congratulations! 
There are some interesting sounds here, and I found the conceit of aggressive word-breaking fresh here. Thanks for sharing.
The word splits are really well done. Not distracting, it lends a style and jerky motion to the whole thing.
I think this is per-
TigerRose13 Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
At first I didn't understand the "-en" at the beginning, but when I reached the end I got it.  That's cool how you made it like a circle.  The rhymes with the word splits are clever too.   
WilliamDallwitz Jan 10, 2014  Student General Artist
neurotype Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The breaks are messing with my mind. I like it.
astrangeallure Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Clever and beautiful...I love it....visual impact as well as a trip for the mind and soul. :love:
This is beautiful, congratulations on the dd!
ImagineAppleScruffs Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow!!! Such a wonderful puzzle of a poem! I read it twice to see how it sounded as you wrote it and as it would be if I read it like prose. 
This is indeed a unique work in my eyes! Congrats on the DD!!! :clap:

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